The Happiness of Habit

This is one of my very favorite articles, written by Karen Andreola. In it she shares the ideas of a very wise educator, Charlotte Mason. Enjoy!

The Happiness of Habit
By Karen Andreola
Printed in PHS #19, 1997.

We are a bundle of habits. How easy it is to brush our teeth, comb our hair, or wash our face. How easy to drive a car or wash a pile of dishes while holding a conversation with a friend. You may not have noticed that you use the same series of movements each and every time you brush, wash, or drive. This is because we need not give much attention to these actions, for they have become habit. These habits are actions that you have repeated and repeated. Some habits you have had for as long as you can remember.

One Third of Education is Discipline
Charlotte Mason wrote, "Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life." By identifying this three-fold aspect of learning, she claimed that as much as one third of education is the discipline of habit. She implored, "The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; on the other hand, she who lets habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction." This is because if we "fail to ease life by laying down habits of right thinking and right doing, habits of wrong thinking and wrong doing [cement] themselves [in place] of their own accord." We begin with an awareness of any repeated action becoming either a bad habit or a good one. The actions she wishes repeated (the good ones) become a mother's endowment.

Schedule - Routine
New thoughts and new actions are not done out of habit. They are in the process of being formed. We must give them lots of attention and care if we wish them to become habits. Occasionally, when my children were very young, I would intentionally use my weak hand (my left) to brush my teeth or hold a crayon. This enabled me to sympathize with my little ones as they were learning new skills - forming good habits.

I can also sympathize with you who wish to learn more about the discipline of habit. As a new mother, I understood that children do better on a schedule. My days with babies and toddlers went pretty smoothly. Our occupations were simply scheduled around meals, indoor play, outdoor play, story time, and bedtime. But when several of my children became school age, I became aware of the need for new habits. My days did not go nearly as smoothly as I would have liked.

Although homeschooling was an attractive idea to me, it was a new experience. Reading Home Education by Charlotte Mason was the encouragement I needed. In it, Charlotte advises a mother to first acquire her own habit of training her children, so that having children in the house with her all day is not a problem, but a pleasure. When it came to acquiring the skill of training my children to form good habits, though I sometimes felt as awkward at it as using my weak hand, the initial work it took to form even one helpful habit was not work in vain. The reward of the established habit was a great help to the homeschool day.

Establishing Structure
In a classroom environment, the structure is set and the day follows the same routine schedule by the bell. For the homeschooling mother, none of the structure is established for her. She must be attentive to maintaining some sort of structure for the sake of developing a disciplined life, which also contributes to a pleasing atmosphere in the home.

During the first years of my homeschooling experience, I was still trying to form certain habits which were not quite established. I had already decided what books and other items we would study, but now coordinating it all was an adventure that needed the help of habit. I discovered Charlotte was right in declaring that working daily to create habits, be they intellectual habits or ones of etiquette, depended on the energy of my students as much as myself, the teacher.

She also declared that children need a little, regular sprinkling (or sparking) of inspiring ideas of righteousness to evoke their cooperation. The discipline of habit, along with the help of inspiring ideas, strengthens a child's will to obey. He can then participate in his learning. What a great opportunity home education has to promote that wonderful ability to be self-disciplined (self-governed), self-motivated, self-educated!

I still have occasional bouts (or should I say "pouts") of apprehension when difficulties arise. I've seen that living the educational life with children involves much more thoughtfulness than opening up the box of curriculum the UPS man dumps at the door. Reading Charlotte's pages convinced me that it is best to have a philosophy and method that backs up how we live out the educational life.

In our rising up, our sitting down, and in other wayside moments of the day children pick up knowledge from our lips, our attitudes, and our example; and not just during those few sacred scheduled hours. But scheduled lessons we must have. This is where Charlotte Mason's method should not be confused with that of an unschooler. "There is a time for everything under heaven."

The Habit of Observation
I remember holding chubby hands on nature walks. "Look at the color of this leaf, Mommy!"
"That's a maple leaf, darling. Shall we iron this one between wax paper, too?"
"Oh, yes, and this one and this one!"
My children have retained their wonder of nature over the years. We have made it our habit to notice and observe the nature in the changing seasons of our neighborhood. Drawing and writing about our "finds" nature notebook style as made science a personal part of our educational life [PHS #2, p. 8]. This is just one memory Charlotte Mason has given me - the result of the happiness of habit.

Example is the Best Sermon
When one of my daughters was age four, we used to watch a certain chipmunk from her bedroom window while I nursed her baby brother. I told her a story about how a chipmunk keeps its underground home tidy. I explained how it had different rooms - one for its bed, one for its food, one with a back door to escape in case of danger, and one as the toilet. All the rooms were kept clean. Dry leaves and dry grass which lined the rooms were replaced daily. "See how busy he is," I pointed out to her. She was entertained, and I think, inspired. The idea of the neat and tidy chipmunk was very helpful to me when reminding her to pick up her toys and hang her change of clothes on her row of pegs.

With Prayer and Supplication
Here is a recipe for the formation of a habit: Let a mother discipline herself to establish a particular habit in her children that would be to her favor and theirs. With devotion she focuses on forming one habit at a time, doing no more than watch over those already formed. She strives to be faithfully consistent. Tact, watchfulness, and perseverance are needed, especially during the first week or so; but when the habit is formed there is little fear of its being broken.
Patience does its perfect work, too; for it may take several months for even one small habit to stick. This is when many a mother makes it her supplication to ask for more patience as she may sense it running out. She prays she will not fall into the temptation to be discouraged, inconsistent, or complacent. The dangerous time to run out of determination is just before the habit is formed. For instance, she may think, "Becky has remembered so well up to now that I won't bother to call her back to put away her things this time."

Be Faithful
Years ago, I made the mistake of allowing my young children time off from certain good actions on the weekend before certain habits were solidly formed. My failing became apparent to me when I discovered that, like the month of March, Monday morning may come in like a lion! To welcome Monday coming in like a lamb, those weekday actions of neatness, politeness, obedience, etc., needed to hold true on the weekend, too. A new goal for me was to let good actions not become too relaxed on the weekends. Only then would these good actions become good habits.

Some Habits to Develop
The Habit of Attention, The Habit of Obedience ("Let thy child's first lesson be obedience, and the second will be what thou wilt." Ben Franklin's Poor Richard's Almanac), Remembering our Ps & Qs., The Habit of Truthfulness, Habits of Thoroughness, Punctuality, Taking Turns, Doing Our Best, Prayer, and Gratitude.
Charlotte said a child should enter his adult life with about twenty of these sorts of good habits. She labeled them the "minor moralities." By "minor" I think she means that they are the least we can do for our children (in the minor leagues of life). "Educate the child in right habits, and the man's life will run in them, without the constant wear and tear of moral effort of decision," she told us. Does this remind you of a scripture verse we so often hear in homeschooling circles? "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."

A child with his conscience trained in these minor moralities may need to remind himself, when with other children, "Now I will be truthful, now I will take turns, now I will be gentle with the younger ones." But by the time he is mature, all the minor moralities of life will have been made habitual to him. He has been brought up to be courteous, prompt, neat, considerate, thankful, and helpful; and he practices good conduct without much conscious effort.

You may not be able to teach old dogs new tricks, but with the help of the Holy Spirit we can reteach ourselves and our children, as He is able to make all things new again. Isn't this a great blessing?
Copyright ©1993